The Stargate Factor
by AussieMunchkin
Summary: Join members of the SGC and their friends as the fight the Goa'uld a new way: competing on the game show the Einstein factor. I'm your host, the Munchkin!
1. Game 1 Round 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate and I do not own the Einstein Factor. Unfortunately.

Game 1: Round 1

Munchkin: Hello and welcome to the Stargate Factor. I am your host, The Munchkin. For those who don't know, contestants on this game must answer a series of questions, and have the most points at the end of the game to advance to the next round. There are three contestants per round and tonight, our contestants are from the secret government agency, the SGC, short for Stargate Command, or have met the members of SG1 at least once. But first, let's meet the Brains Trust. Introducing: Major General George Hammond, Supreme Commander Thor of the Asgard Fleet, and the beautiful, Major Samantha Carter.

(All three smile and wave. A man from the audience runs up and gives Sam a rose. Sam blushes while the man returns to his seat.)

Munchkin: General Hammond, you are in charge of the SGC. You must have met some pretty interesting people. Who is your favourite alien?

George: Definitely Thor. Or any of the Asgard. Although I do like the Nox.

Munchkin: (smiling) I like the Asgard and the Nox too. Ok, thank you General. Thor, as Supreme Commander of the Asgard fleet, your special subject is spaceships and war strategies. I know that you do "sanctioned" experiments on humans, what's your favourite part of our culture?

Thor: I have studied your race and the one thing that has intrigued me is a religion called the "Jedi". I am curious to learn more about these people.

Munchkin: I'm sure that Teal'c will fill you in. Our last member of the brains trust is Major Samantha Carter, whose special area is astrophysics. Boy, are you smart.

Sam: (smiles) thank you.

Munchkin: OK, that's our brains trust. Tonight, our first contestant is: "Jack O'Neill"

(Jack enters to a round of applause. A few women faint when they see him)

Jack: Hello campers. How is everyone?

(The audience goes wild; everyone tries to shout above everyone else until the Munchkin raises her hand)

Munchkin: Hello Jack. How are you?

Jack: I'm good thanks.

Munchkin: That's great. Jack, you are our first contestant. Welcome to the show.

Jack: Thanks. (Gets up from his seat and gives The Munchkin a hug.)

Munchkin: (blushes) Thanks Jack

Jack: (sits down) you're welcome.

Munchkin: OK, Jack. Your special area is the Ancients, so….. Let's get this show on the road. Jack, question 1. What is the name given to the race who built the Stargate system?

Jack: The Ancients.

Munchkin: Correct. OK. Whose knowledge was downloaded into your brain?

Jack: Um…The Ancients.

Munchkin: Okie Dokie. Who are the only people who could really have whipped Goa'uld butt?

Jack: The Ancients.

(Questions go on for awhile and the answers are all "The Ancients" or "The Stargate". After the 15th question…)

Munchkin: OK Jack, you are on 1500 points, well done. Now for the bonus question. You either answer this or you can throw it to the Brains Trust. Ok Jack?

Jack: Ok. Sounds cool.

Munchkin: (smiles) sure does. Here we go. Were the Ancients really, really smart?

Jack: I think I might throw it to the Brains Trust.

Munchkin: Ok. Brains Trust?

Sam: I'm going false.

Hammond and Thor: What? (Both look shocked)

Munchkin: That's correct!

Sam: (smiles)

Hammond and Thor: (look at The Munchkin in shock, mouths open, eyes wide)

Munchkin: (sighs) the Ancients were not really, really smart. They were incredibly superior then that. They were in fact, really, really intelligent.

Hammond and Thor: (look relieved)

Munchkin: what did you think? They were stupid? Jack, you are now on 1700 points. (Waits for audience to quit down) OK, next victim, I mean, contestant. Our next contestant needs no introduction. But, lets give him one any way. Here's Jonas Quinn.

(The audience gives a round of applause an there are a few wolf whistles as Jonas walks to his seat)

Jonas: (blushing) Hi everyone. (Waves and flashes his cute smile at the Munchkin)

Munchkin: (blushes again and mutters something similar to "damn, why are these guys so cute?" under her breath) Hey there Jonas. You're special subject tonight is: Naquadria. Ok, let's go.

(The questions for Jonas are similar to the ones for Jack, with every answer being either Naquadria or Naquada)

Munchkin: Okie Dokie. Jonas, you are on 1400 points. Time for your bonus question. What is the Stargate made of?

Jonas: Seeing as the three people on the Brains Trust will know the answer, I'll hand it over to them

Munchkin: OK. Brains Trust? What is the Stargate made of?

Random Member of the Audience: (yells out) plastic!

Jack: Moron. Even I know the answer.

Munchkin: (giggling. Looks at Jack and puts a finger to her lips, indicating that he needs to be quite)

Jack: (gives Munchkin a wink)

Thor: (says seriously) the Stargate is made of Naquada.

(Audience claps and cheers)

Munchkin: Ok Jonas, you're on 1600 points. Our third and final contestant is: Osiris.

Osiris: (walks onto stage, eyes glowing) stupid humans.

(The audience hisses at her)

Munchkin: (silences the audience with a Look) hello Osiris.

Osiris: (glares at Munchkin) stupid human child.

Munchkin: (angry now) I'm 18 and legally an adult, and I'm also the host of this show, so you just sit down and shut up.

Osiris: (still glaring at Munchkin) Hmpf.

Munchkin: (still cross with Osiris, glares some more.)

Jack and Jonas: (look at each other. Jack catches Munchkin's eye and they both smile)

Munchkin: (smiles at the guys) Ok. Time for the third contestant. Osiris, you're special area is: The Goa'uld.

(Osiris' questions are much like Jack and Jonas', except she gets some of them wrong.)

Munchkin: (grins evilly) Osiris, you are on 900 points. Round 2 will be on after this special advertisement.

To Be Continued….

Yay, it's finally done. Thought I'd put this up today because there's a special Einstein Factor on tonight. It's one with Star Wars characters.

So, do you like it? Please review. I would like 3 reviews before I write another chapter.


	2. Game 1 Round 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just ask ABC or Metro Goldwyn Mayer (MGM), they'll tell you. No money is being made from this. I'm just a poor Uni student who got bored.

Game 1: Round 2

Munchkin: Welcome back to the Stargate Factor. Before we go onto Round 2, Osiris, we need to give you your bonus question. Are you ready?

Osiris: (glares silently at Munchkin)

Munchkin: I'll take that as a yes. Which are the least friendly creatures in the universe?

Osiris: The Unas?

Munchkin: Wrong! The correct answer was: The Goa'uld. You are on 900 points, Jonas is on 1600 points and Jack is on 1700 points. On to Round 2. Now, in this round, there are nine categories for you to choose from and I will ask you all a multiple choice question. If you answer the question right and the Brains Trust gets it wrong, you receive 100 points. If you and the Brains Trust answer it right, you receive 50 points. If you answer wrong, you get nothing. Here are the categories:

Races

Gods

Politics

Technology

Ships

Animals

Weapons

Planets

Cultures

Munchkin: Jack, could you please choose a category?

Jack: Sure. Weapons.

Munchkin: Ok. Heres your question: The full name of a 'zat' is:

staff weapon

zat'n'katel (sp?)

90mm

(contestants choose their answers while weird music plays in the background.)

Munchkin: Ok. Brains Trust?

Sam: It's b. Definitely.

Thor: I concur.

Hammond: Sounds right.

Munchkin: Wow. That was quick. Let's see what the contestants thought. Jack: b. Jonas: b. Osiris: c? Well, the answer is b. zat 'n' ktel. Jonas, please choose a subject.

Jonas: (smiles) cultures.

Munchkin: All right. Who do the people of Cimmeria worship? A. Daniel Jackson B. Apophis C. Freyr

(music plays again while contestants choose their answers)

Jack: I know this one! 

Munchkin: (smiles at Jack and puts her finger to her lips again)

Jack: sorry. (Grins at Munchkin)

Munchkin: Ok, Brains Trust?

Thor: The answer is c. Freyr.

Sam: That's right!

Hammond: Sure is.

Munchkin: All right, the Brains Trust is going for C. Jack thinks its c. Jonas thinks its c. and Osiris thinks its b. The answer is c. Freyr. Osiris, please choose a category.

Osiris: How to Enslave Humans.

Munchkin: (looks at card) from the list please.

Osiris: (glares at Munchkin) Gods.

Munchkin: Thank you. Your question is: The Egyptian god of 'fertility, inebriety and music'? Is it A. Hathor, B. Anubis or C. Seth

Jack: Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll.

Munchkin puts a finger to her lips and smiles, Jonas looks confused and Hammond and Sam look at each other and smile. Thor looks around, as serious as always. Jack looks around and smiles cheekily at Munchkin.

(Music plays while the three contestants put their answers in)

Munchkin: Brains Trust?

Sam: (glares and gives a low growl)

Hammond: (looks embarrassed) Hathor.

Thor: I agree.

Munchkin: Ok. The Brains Trust are going for A. Hathor. Jack thinks it's A, so do Jonas and Osiris.

Osiris: (smiles evilly) another opponent gone.

Munchkin: (frowns slightly) Quiet you. The correct answer is A. Hathor. Next question. Jack, could you select another category please?

Jack: Sure can. Races, please.

Munchkin: Ok. What is the first race, apart from the Goa'uld, that SG1 meet? Is it A. The Asgard, B. The Nox, or C. The Shavadai.

(Music plays while the three contestants put their answers in)

Munchkin: Brains Trust?

Hammond: I believe it was C.

Sam: Yes, it was, sir. They tried to kill me about three times.

Thor: I do not know. But, I will trust you both.

Munchkin: The Brains Trust is going with C. Our contestants think it's: C, C and B. The correct answer is C. The Shavadai. Jonas, can you choose another topic please?

Jonas: My pleasure. Planets.

Munchkin: Your question is: What planet did Ra used to rule? A. Abydos, B. Kheb, C. Chulak.

(Music plays while the three contestants put their answers in)

Munchkin: Brains Trust?

Sam: I'm quite sure that it was Abydos.

Hammond: I agree

Thor: As do I.

Munchkin: Ok, the Brains Trust guesses A. Abydos. The contestants guesses are: A, A and A. Everyone gets 50 points. Yay! Osiris? It's your turn to choose a topic.

Osiris: Technology, human.

Munchkin: (tries to be polite as she curses Osiris in her mind) Thank you Osiris. The question is: Who built the ship known as a 'Puddle Jumper'? Is it A. the Ancients, B. The Goa'uld or C. The Tauri?

(Music plays while the three contestants put their answers in)

Munchkin: Brains Trust?

Thor: I am unsure.

Hammond: So am I.

(Both Hammond and Thor look at Carter)

Carter: I have no idea. I guess it's an Earth name for a ship but whose?

Hammond: Ancients?

Carter: I suppose. We'll go A

Munchkin: A? Ok. The answers for our contestants are: S, B and A. Both Jack and Osiris get 100 points. Now, at the end of Round 2, let's check the points. Jack is on a whopping 2050 points. Well done Jack.

Jack: (smiles and waves)

Munchkin: Jonas is on 1900 points.

Jonas: (smiles and gives Jack a hi-five.)

Munchkin: And Osiris is on 1800 points.

Osiris: (grins evilly and then scowls as the audience boos her.)

Munchkin: That's the end of Round 2. Join us again after this break.

TBC… After the break.

A/N: For all those who have seen the Einstein Factor, it is on ABC, but I'm putting in ad breaks so I have an excuse to end the chapter.

This is based on two TV shows, if you couldn't tell. Stargate SG1 and the Einstein Factor. Both rule.


	3. Game 1 Round 3

Game 1: Round 3

Instead of writing Munchkin all the time, I'm shortening it to Munchy

Munchy: (smiles) Welcome back to The Stargate Factor. Now, onto Round 3!

(Munchy turns to the Brains Trust)

Munchy: Brains Trust, in this round we have general knowledge questions, along with questions on the victims, I mean, contestant's special subjects, ok?

(Sam, George and Thor nod)

Munchy: (turns to the contestants) Ok?

Jack: (nods and winks)

Jonas (smiles and nods)

Osiris: (glares)

Munchy: (winks at Jack, grins at Jonas and glares at Osiris.) Ok. Now, scoring. 50 points per correct answer, but if you answer the question wrong, then you lose 50 points. If they Brains Trust answer the question, no one gets points, ok? Hands on your buzzers.

(Jack, Jonas and Osiris put their hands on their separate buzzers, while Sam, Thor and Hammond put their hand on the Brains Trust buzzer)

Munchy: You're first question. Australia is found on what planet?

(Buzzer sounds)

Munchy: Jonas?

Jonas: Earth.

Munchy: Correct. Next question: Ra was of which race?

(Buzzer sounds)

Munchy: Jack?

Jack: (growls) Goa'uld.

Munchy: Correct. (looks at Jack and smiles) Next: Who is Thor?

(Buzzer sounds)

Munchy: Jonas?

Jonas: points to the Asgard member of the Brains Trust Him! grins

Munchy: I'll accept that. Next: Which race builds ships in the shapes of pyramids?

(Buzzer sounds)

Munchy: Osiris?

Osiris: Goa'uld, you pathetic Human!

Munchy: (frowns) The first part was correct. (The questions continue, getting sillier each time until the reach the end) And that's the end of Round three! The scores are as follows… Osiris: 1750points.

(The audience boos)

Munchy: Enough! (They quiet down). Jonas is on 2200

(Audience applauds)

Munchy: Jack is on 2350! Jack O'Neill is the winner!

(Audience whoops loudly, as Jack jumps up and hugs Munchy)

Munchy: (hugs Jack back) Jack has now earned his place in the finals! They will take place in a short while. Stay tuned for Round 1 of Game 2! Good night, and if the bedbugs bite you, you just bite them right back!

* * *

There you are, the end of game 1. Keep an eye out for game 2, won't you?

Munchy.


End file.
